EVERYDAY MENTOR

Andrew Gray

Hello Reader

Welcome back to the EM Newsletter. I trust you are doing well in your journey towards Inner-Life Health & Sustainability.

A quick correction from last weeks article:

I wrote that "the external is dictated by the external"

It should have read "the external is dictated by the internal"

"How To CARE LESS About Other People's Opinions"

The very first thing to know on this subject is that the large majority of people will struggle at some point in their life with this issue, so you're not alone!

Secondly, as I am sure you can imagine, most people are better off without the input of most other people's probing into their business. This is why at the end of this article I am giving you 7 Top Tips for caring less about the opinion of others.

Without a doubt, social media has exponentially influenced the prevalence of our awareness of other opinions, as well as the self-deluded belief of the importance of said opinions expressed by the 'opinion givers'

WAY too many people are willing to say things through a laptop or smartphone that they would never, and should never, dare say to a person's face.

Where I grew up in the 1980's, these people generally got a punch in the face for saying the kinds of things that they say all the time on social media . . . hence why it didn't't get said very often.

It is deeply saddening to see our teenagers struggling more than ever as a result of the empowerment social media has provided to the opinionated.

Sadly, those who choose to be reckless with their words and opinions will always be with us. Therefore, the answer (in part) is that we must become smarter and more resilient in how we handle this matter if we are to live our life the way we should, unfettered by the detritus that streams too often from the mouths and fingertips of other people.

The sooner we can achieve this outcome (and help others to do the same), the sooner we will all be able to get on with enjoying our life.

It is also pertinent to mention that there will always be some opinions that DO MATTER. We are certainly not severing ties with EVERY single opinion.

Rather, we are learning to do better at cutting ties with opinions that come from people who are uncaring, unwise, uninformed and uninvited.

7 Top Tips to help you CARE LESS about the unnecessary opinions of others;

Start by asking yourself WHY do you care what other people think - This question warrants quiet meditation and reflection to discover what is really driving your excessive care about what other people think about you.
Then ask yourself what might be missing on the inside of you that other opinions can capture your attention so easily - Learn to acknowledge that we all struggle in some way or other. It's ok to acknowledge to yourself that you have insecurities, or fears, or unresolved traumas, whether they be big or small. Acknowledgement of this reality, and dealing honestly with yourself can be the start of extraordinary transformations.
Know your WHY - If you can increase the clarity around; who you are, what you have, why you're here, what your mission is, who you are called to, and why you do what you do . . . You will become spectacularly capable of blocking out the white noise of the 'uninvited opinionated' because you will no longer be waiting for circumstance to tell you who you are and why you're here. You will already know. This makes you powerful and confident.
Recognise and accept there will always be people who dislike you and what you do - Part company with the desire to be liked by everyone. It's impossible! Whether you go left or right, up or down, or stand still . . . there will always be someone who disagrees, dislikes and feels the need to express their opinion about it. Make the tough decision to do the deep inner work encompassed in Points 1-3 above. Then you will find new energy to get on with 'doing you' irrespective of what other people may or may not think.
Surround yourself with the right people - Choose peers who care about you, care about your wellbeing, encourage you, have some experience to offer you and will be there for you rain, hail or shine. This doesn't happen quickly or easily, however it is absolutely within your reach if you commit to it as your benchmark for what equals a friend.
Build positive success habits - When you start achieving growth momentum by healthy habit stacking, your self-esteem will surge, and unwanted opinions will fade into the background as the useless data that it is.
Develop a personal filtering system - You need a robust response strategy for the opinions that come your way. This will help you sift swiftly, saving precious emotional energy for the things that actually matter. An example of a filtering system is the one I have developed for myself regarding how to evaluate comments made on my YouTube channel. YouTube can be a hateful place in the comments section. Here's how I handle it. I have developed a system I call S.I.A.A (pronounced see-ya. no coincidences here). It stands for Supportive - Inquisitive - Argumentative - Abusive. This is how I categorise all comments received on my channel. If a comment is Supportive, it receives a thanks. If Inquisitive, it receives an answer. If Argumentative, it receives a slap. If Abusive, it gets deleted. By applying this system, I don't fall for the trap of engaging with garbage that has no benefit to my life. I simply let the system decide the response.

I would love to hear from you; Has this been a struggle in your life? Do you get anxious thinking about other people's opinions? Which Top Tips are most helpful for your situation?

Just hit reply to this email and I will definitely respond. :)

The Everyday Mentor Newsletter will be taking a short break for a few weeks until the 15th of October.

Until then, take care!